How much do work problems weigh?
There are problems at work, with bosses, colleagues or people you supervise.
You take these problems to bed, waking up at 3 am only to find yourself in the middle of a conversation that happened earlier the day before.
It’s always the same – you feel misunderstood, that you didn’t get your point across, that you were steamrolled.
And now at 3 am, you are angry, frustrated, and unable to sleep. Why is there so much confrontation?
The questions repeat: Why doesn’t anybody understand me? How do I make myself heard?
Or there are problems at home with partners.
You and your husband, wife or partner have been together for years; but it seems the longer you’ve been together, things get worse – not better.
Everything turns into an argument. You’re always walking on eggshells. Your partner is ready to explode at any given moment.
When was the last time there was an agreement? A good time? Understanding?
For the first time ever, you begin to understand how someone could take their own life. A scary thought, but, yes, there it is.
And where did your sweet child go?
You thought you knew and understood your child – and could happily spend an afternoon just hanging.
But now this child has become a sullen stranger, speaking in three-word sentences if out from behind the closed bedroom door.
Who sent your child away and switched this one in his place?
You are deeply concerned for him and have terrifying ideas about what’s going on in there, cutting, drugging, sexting…but you have no idea how to open the door and have a conversation.
You are frightened you’ll only make things worse.
Hiding behind a ‘Fake-It-Until-You-Make-It’ Persona
You try to hide it, but most nights you are awake for several hours fretting about… something, but you can’t say what.
You have a feeling deep in your gut that you just… can’t… keep… doing what you are doing.
But a voice somewhere inside says, ‘You don’t need somebody telling you what’s wrong with you, to tell you how to solve your problems – just get on with it.’
And that got you down the road for a while, but now you’re running out of road.
Getting help and understanding
You seek understanding – you feel that if you can understand these problems, know what causes them, where they come from, how to reverse or solve them – you will feel better.
The feelings of anxiety, depression, sadness, helplessness that go with these problems have gone on so long that you finally realize you need someone to help.
The painful feelings of vulnerability are a sign that a change is on the way, that you are about to reach out, let down your guard, and let someone else be a guide for a while.
Hi, I’m Jim
A former client of mine said this about me: ‘You’re the anti-therapist. You go in thinking you’re going to fill out forms, wait your turn, and then be told what all is wrong with you. I laugh and cry, sometimes simultaneously, but I usually find out what is right with me.’
It is my good fortune to bring decades of experience of helping people who are stuck just like you to get unstuck.
I have been through more trainings, techniques and modalities than I can count, but have boiled it all down now to the very simple method of sitting still, paying close attention, and asking questions.
The trust relationship I build with you is where it all begins. I don’t think in diagnostic labels. I don’t ‘classify.’
You are the author of your own therapy; I am simply the channel through which you find it.