COUPLES THERAPY

Couples Counseling in Dallas, TX

You and your partner have gone through a period of disagreement that goes beyond a ‘rough patch’. The fights have been vicious, name calling, character assassinating. There may even have been the threat of physical violence.
And you see this has become part of a pattern: uneasy silences for days, punctuated by violent confrontation.

Or, a silence has settled over the relationship. Your partner has become little more than a stick figure moving in and out of your life, someone to be put up with until they leave, or you leave, for work. She has become a two dimensional image, without depth, without content, like a billboard you pass on your way to and from each day. No physical intimacy, no real contact, just passing time. You often fantasize about ending the relationship.

These are just two of the signs of a relationship in trouble. In my couples counseling, I do several things to help people rescue their relationship if possible, or bring it to a respectful, civil ending if not.

1) Teach the couples about the normal struggles of long term commitment, the ‘facts of life’ of what happens when people take on the task of long term, shared commitment and risk. They will learn about the normalcy of power struggle, how to resolve it. They will learn about the twin fears of abandonment and domination. They will learn about the separateness that supports intimacy.

2) Methods of safe conversation, and using it to resolve disputes.

3) Create an environment in which people can experience self discovery in the relationship, and keep that going after leaving therapy.

4) I don’t see it as my job to save relationships, or to end them, but rather it is to help people discover what is right for their relationship.

Effective couples counseling is complex and difficult but worthwhile. People almost always wait until is nearly too late. Having the courage to enter marriage counseling can save a lot of suffering, time, and money.